A Real Sister Beauty Pageant

I'm sure all of you heard about the Italian priest set to sponsor a beauty pageant for nuns. He wanted to showcase their inner beauty and to dispel myths and stereotypes of old, haggard nuns.

Well, it's not gonna happen.

Lots of people got upset, and I must tell you, I wasn't too keen on his limiting the contest to sisters between the age of 18 and 40. Um, most sisters today are in their 70s and older, for starters, and if it's inner beauty he's searching for age shouldn't matter.

'Nuff on that. However, my friend Sr. Mary Margaret has started her own contest! Check it out and submit a photo of your favorite sister, living or deceased: Beautiful Nun Contest.

Here's my entry:



Meet Sr. Maria Goretti, my first grade teacher. Sadly, she passed away at a very young age, when her car collided with a train. As Billy Joel crooned, "only the good die young."

Three reasons why Sr. Goretti earns my vote as most Beautiful Nun:

1. Take a look at her and figure it out for yourself.
2. She taught 51 six-year-olds by herself, in pre-airconditioned South Florida while draped head-to-toe in a wool habit.
3. She indulged my fantasy as a lounge singer, only smiling as I belted out hits of the day like "Hi De Ho" and the "Take it off, take it off, take it all off" Noxema jingle.

Sequel Underway - Submit Your Stories!

Don’t Chew Jesus! – The Sequel

We know that all the stories in Don’t Chew Jesus! are just the tip of the iceberg so we’re collecting more memories for a sequel! This time, we’re adding a twist: photos! So, pull out those scrapbooks, dust off the cobwebs in your brains and share your stories of life with the nuns!

For sample stories, check out our website www.nunstories.com, or flip through your copy of Don’t Chew Jesus! A Collection of Memorable Nun Stories.

As with our first book, a portion of sales proceeds will be donated to S.O.A.R. (Support Our Aging Religious.

Send us your memories!

Danielle Schaaf & Michael Prendergast

What We’re Looking For

Stories, memories, anecdotes

• Religious education, sacrament preparation, prayers
• School life, classroom antics, studies, field trips
• Saints Feasts, Holy Days
• Habits, appearance, image, impressions
• Pomp, pageantry, procession, and programs
• Discipline, motivation
• Temptations and sins (avoiding them, of course!)
• Fun with nuns, recreation, games, pranks, relaxation
• Influence, lasting impressions

Nostalgic… poignant… devout… silly… hilarious… sentimental… lighthearted… nearly anything EXCEPT crude and mean-spirited anecdotes.

Visuals
• Nuns, Nuns, Nuns. Photos of sisters in habits or not; teaching class, or not; relaxing and having fun or not; hanging out with other nuns, in the convent or other locales, with children or not! Photos will be of actual sisters and not snapshots of someone’s drunk uncle dressed up in Halloween costume.

• Photos of contributors. In class, in uniform, in church, in procession or not – as long as the photo evokes a memory or story about nuns.

• The Written Word. No, not the Bible or Baltimore Catechism but any handwritten notes, comments on a worksheet, letters from or to a sister.

• Holy Tschotchkes, Blessed Bling, Paraphernalia and Mementos. Year-book scans, post-cards, holy cards, photos of trinkets such as statues of the Blessed Mother and medals.

How To Share Your Stories
Have your own memory about a special sister? Send it along for our next book of nun stories! Here’s how:

Requirements: written submissions should be between 75 and 150 words but longer contributions up to 300 words will be considered. If you’re not a writer, just call and tell us your story! Acceptance of the story doesn’t guarantee publication. Submit scans of your photos and other images (300 dpi or higher) or mail us a copy of the photo.

Email: author@nunstories.com
Mail: P.O. Box 6555, Kingwood, TX 77325
Call or fax toll-free: 1.877.NUNBOOK

Hurry! Deadline is December 31, 2008